++Wednesday, April 17, 2002 08:55 p.m.++

Everyone loves the Trail of Dead! And anyway I stand a chance of getting a free t-shirt just by doing this. I'm a cheapskate cheezel.

audio: And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - A Perfect Teenhood

++Sunday, April 7, 2002 11:38 p.m.++

If i get a pet dog/cat/hamster/eel I will name it Voltron or Lion-O

audio: Don Caballero - June is Finally Here

++Tuesday, April 2, 2002 12:29 a.m.++

Oh everything's alright now:

We hope you all enjoyed our little attempt at writing like The Onion, or in our case, more like The Funyon. Tomorrow we promise business as usual, with a dashingly handsome new look and a new daily feature we're calling We Are The World. Book and film reviews, live reviews, top 10 lists, short-form interviews, and general pop culture-related weirdness are some of the items you can expect to see every day in We Are The World, alongside features like Cover Art Cop, and Hott Critic-on-Critic Action (Kind of like Celebrity Boxing, but without the henna tattoos). In the coming weeks, Pitchfork will present our writers' Top 50 Albums of the 1980s, a list of the Top 25 Best Icelandic Records of All Time (as compiled by Icelanders themselves!), and interviews with ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Lou Barlow, Fennesz, Songs: Ohia and Fog. Now in our sixth year, and with readership swelling to above 25,000 daily, we thank you for your continued loyalty and for helping make Pitchfork the web's largest resource for news and commentary on the music that matters.

Sob.

++Tuesday, April 2, 2002 12:10 a.m.++

Ahhhh!!!! It's the death of indierock as we know it! Pitchforkmedia sold out!

When I started Pitchfork in 1995, I was just a kid with an Internet connection and a dream. An obsessive indie rock nerd with only my passion for music and an unmitigated desire to be the center of attention. The extent of my experience: a collection of 450 CDs, an education-in-progress from the local college radio station KUOM, and a pile of Cake zines in the closet. Over the years, Pitchfork has grown to be the web's largest resource for daily reviews and music news for the independent music world. And yet, it just isn't enough. You see, we have the readers-- we just don't have the resources to deal with our overhead. For all those banner ads flashing wildly like beckoning slot machines, we still aren't turning much of a profit. Make that "weren't." You see, two months ago, we privately inked a deal with a larger corporation which promises us, for once, a steady income-- my first in over four years!-- as well as the promotional tools we've lacked for so long. The deal also promises us exclusive coverage on some of the world's hottest upcoming acts! This, of course, probably means less coverage of those lovable indie bands. But frankly, that just ain't where the cash is these days. Huh? Oh, I'm callous, am I? I'll tell you what's callous: me not being able to pay my motherfucking rent! Look, maybe I'm being a little defensive here. It's not like I feel great about this, and it certainly isn't the coolest career move I could possibly make. But you guys, when you get a check in the mail that could pay your rent for seven years, well, that's the kind of thing you just don't turn down. The bright side of all this is that, even if we aren't covering the "indiest" music out there anymore, we'll still be us-- I'll still be the editor and will maintain creative control, to a large extent-- and for once, we'll get the mainstream exposure that's coming to us. I hope this will not offend our current readers too badly, and that you will all enjoy our newly corporate-funded criticism for years to come. Deepest sympathies, Ryan Pitchfork

This had better be some sick April Fool's Joke. They gave the stupid wench an 8.4 and some other stupid wenchettes stupid scores.

audio: there's no point in listening to anything now!

++Sunday, March 24, 2002 11:45 p.m.++

I'm on a quest to become the only Force Vomit groupie in Singapore, possibly anywhere else as well. I've scrounged every single song available on AG and mp3.com, I even have a live track of them performing at Towers. I've got their 2nd album. And after attending the last gig, I'm a true believer! Now to lay my grubby hands on some sweet sweet FV tshirts and their old EPs and demos. Anyone with the above mentioned holy holy products can contact me through slinky email, or I'll hafta pry them from your cold, dead fingers myself. Photos of the gig will be up soon. Zippos in the air!

audio: Force Vomit - Standard Punishment

++Saturday, March 23, 2002 10:36 p.m.++

I'm bored.

When you rush 2 weeks of homework in 2 days, eveeeeryone knows you will die from a major haemorrhage of the lymphoid nodes! Don't do it kids!

Do you realise that all the characters in Roman/Greek myths and legends were all like super-emo jocks or something? Oh no my sons has died at war, I must fling myself upon the jagged rocks! Woe is me, my daughter just got royally screwed by Zeus le head mofo, I must be trampled by a million enraged horny bulls! Oh damn chipped a nail, I must swallow goat scrotums! Chill man.

I don't get as much traffic as I deserve, time to go on a guestbookpimp. You should be a guestbookpimp/whore too.

audio: Brainiac - Sexual Frustration

pee ass, Nick Hornby's "High Fidelity" is ace! Just noticed how close the movie is to the book.

++Tuesday, March 19, 2002 01:10 a.m.++

It's 1.10am, and here I am, watching pixels yet again. Late nights and keyboards. Pfft. I wish I had something interesting to say, maybe then you would love me. I don't like pissing off people who're dear to me, it makes me feel like old socks and stale cheese. Seriously.

I like the minor-chord progression on Big Blacks' "He's a Whore". Actually it could turn out to be a really simple Em-C progression or something, but Steve Albini's abrasive distortion just changes everything really. What a morose night/morning. I haven't been this depressed in a while. I haven't been depressed in a while, even.(couldn't you tell?)

On a different note:
OMG THERE'S A NEW JEFF MANGUM INTERVIEW OH MY GAWWWWD! 3 years is a long time to wait my man. This guy is the shits. You can read it here

audio: Big Black - the Model

++Monday, March 18, 2002 01:11 a.m.++

OK so it's 1.11am (ooo, evil number!), and here I am, watching characters pop up on his monitor like that many binary codes and pixels. I doubt the pitas will display the correct time though cos I doubt I ever got the option to change it to +8 GMT. Oh wells. It's 1.13am, I am in pain.

Did you know that vegemite is kick-ass!Mmmm...rotting vegetable extract. Oh well if you're suitably bored?

audio: Quickspace - Climbing a Hill

++Thursday, March 14, 2002 10:30 p.m.++

Oh ok this new thingy at the top kinda sux I know but bear with it until I come up with something more permenant(notice the nifty vectorised figure?). In the meantime you can still push my buttons, or send me nudies here. Yes I love you long time!

Also, EXTRACTIONS SUCK!

audio: John Zorn - Sacrifists (easily the weirdest, most eclectic yet enjoyable song I have in my playlist)

++Tuesday, March 12, 2002 07:32 p.m.++

Hmmm...getting weird misdirected angsty messages in my guestbook?
Example:

"YOU WANT MY CONTACT YOU SMALL BITCH !!!!! yOu GUYS TOTALLY SUCK AT THE COSPLAY !!!!!!!!!! MAKING A FUCKING FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF !!! AnD PLEASE STOP WEARING THOSE FUCKING COSTUMES COS YOU ALL SUCK AND CAN ONLY IMAGINE BEHING THE CHARACTER OF THE MANGA !!!!!!! FUCK YoU ALL SMALL BITCHES !!!!!!"

I had to delete the offending article anyway so as to maintain my reputation as being clean and good family fun. I swear this has nothing to do with me...

audio: Clinic - Internal Wrangler

++Tuesday, March 12, 2002 12:04 p.m.++

Holidays are packed with 15 essential vitamins and nutrients that make our bones strong and help us growwwwwww!!!! New splash at 946. Time to get to work on the long overdue 4EM webpage.

audio: Modest Mouse - Cowboy Dan

++Monday, March 4, 2002 11:42 p.m.++

You should all go out now and buy force vomit's new album, "Give it Up for the Trustfund Rockers". Get touched by the rock 'n roll goblin in your special parts. Listen to it until the pleasurable sounds carve caverns through your ears into the back of your head.

audio: Force Vomit - Johnny Levitate

++Monday, March 4, 2002 12:15 a.m.++

Ok you see in all of my mom's 49 years of her life, I doubt she really knows how to read the time. Basically this is how she does it:

Actual Time: 6.05am
She Says: "Hey hurry up it's almost 6.30 you're gonna be late for school!

Yeah so basically she just sort of fast-forwards the time to the nearest half hour. What this does is to induce maximum "get-me-out-of-bed-into-a-frenzied-panic" effect. I should have gotten a huge 3m high clock to shove in her bedroom instead of that avocado bath-gel yuppie nonsense.

audio: Morphine - Buena

++Thursday, February 28, 2002 10:20 p.m.++

Yeah ok, so I got back my Chinese results. I got an A2, which to say the least, wasn't what I was expecting. But no worry, I'm not very disheartened or anything (for the less observant, this is your cue to display a tremendous outpouring of emotional support, in the form of CDs, clothes, or Carebear collectibles).

Some friend of mine got an A1, which surprised him. So he cried, then promptly fainted. I'd like to see him strike the 10 million lottery.

Mmm...redesign expected sometime next month.

audio: Queens of the Stone Age - Regular John

++Tuesday, February 26, 2002 11:01 p.m.++

"Busy" so say's I

audio: Unwound - Off This Century

++Monday, February 18, 2002 11:41 p.m.++

Ahhhh...it feels good to rush late assignments. Your blood rushes through your veins, and your head swells with the combined pressure of a million well-shaken coke bottles. So I totally kicked the ass of one Chinese essay and a History essay. Hah! Eat that Evil Lord of Backlogged Homework! Once again good triumphs over evil.

I'll be pretty busy till after Wednesday, after that I'll kinda start work on a redesign or something for this sty. AND start work on uploading all the files for the class webpage. So Shengxiang if you're reading this...STOP BUGGING ME. Cheezels to you!

And Shengxiang is the grand bugger extrordinaire. Also, check out Force Vomit. Not only have they got a great new album, they're also chock full of snazzy anarchist anti-corporate sarcasm! So hip it hurts.

audio: the Microphones - Tape Deck Ghost

++Saturday, February 16, 2002 12:54 a.m.++

Ok I've sort of acquired myself a mobile phone. Well...sort of. If you want to know the circumstances the number, you know where to find me. Or if you're a too much of a wuss to email me, you could leave me a private message at the panicbook. Wuss.

Also, I realise that I don't know how to charge my phone because I can't locate the lil' hole where you plug in the wire. Hmm...design flaws. Because I'm an Asian boy, I'm therefore a standard-issue filial son, hence I need to find my mother a birthday present real soon.

Meeting Jianwei tomorrow. Jianwei, in case you're reading this (although I sincerely hope you're not 'cause then I'd be screwed like a cheezel), you are the world's biggest bugger. That will be all.

audio: the Halo Benders - Virginia Reel Around the Fountain

++Thursday, February 14, 2002 10:16 p.m.++

HEY ALL YOU MAD PIMPS!!!!!!WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!!!

Oh yes it feels good to be back. It's been a while hasn't it (admit it you've missed me more than cheesecake).

The face stays the same but the words've changed. Actually that's just a nice way of saying that I'm much too lazy to redesign...well not yet at least. Perhaps another day. Why am I back you say? Well it's like this...I'm much too funny to not let the world know. Yeah. Or something similary self-important.

My sister'll be leaving to go back to Melbourne tomorrow morning at 10am. So wave goodbye kids!

audio: Quickspace - Lob It (instrumental)